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Posted on August 29, by Scott Alexander [Epistemic status: Pieced together from memory years after the event. I may have mis-remembered some things or gotten them in the wrong order.
Aside from that — and the obvious jokes — this is all true. Some psychiatrists love this test.
There was a study that supposedly proved this test worked. Why not join the great tradition of scientists, going back to Galileo and Newton, and make my mark on the world?
Why not replace my griping about bipolar screening with an experiment about bipolar screening, an experiment done to the highest standards of the empirical tradition, one that would throw the entire weight of the scientific establishment behind my complaint? For it would turn out a whole host of excellent reasons that I was about to learn.
It was locked, as always.
After enough knocking, a lady finally opened the door and motioned for me to sit down at a paperwork-filled desk. The training was several hours of videos about how the Nazis had done unethical human experiments.
Then after World War II, everybody met up and decided to only do ethical human experiments from then on.
And the most important part of being ethical was to have all experiments monitored by an Institutional Review Board IRB made of important people who could check whether experiments were ethical or not.
I went back to the corner office, Study Investigator Certification in hand. The lady still looked skeptical. They would probably screw up and start building concentration camps or something.
They needed an attending high-ranking doctor to sign on as Principal Investigator before the IRB would deign to hear their case. I knew exactly how to handle this: It was the weirdest thing. Finally, there was only one doctor left — Dr.
W, the hardest-working attending I knew, the one who out of some weird masochistic impulse took on every single project anyone asked of him and micromanaged it to perfection, the one who every psychiatrist in the whole hospital including himself had diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder.
A feeling of dread in my stomach, I walked back to the tiny corner office.The Public Inspection page on ashio-midori.com offers a preview of documents scheduled to appear in the next day's Federal Register issue.
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